My name is Donna and I am the Head Receptionist at St Boniface. Over the years my two cats, Millie & Bella have not got on so well… it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster and I wanted to share my experience with you!
Millie is almost 6 years old and I got her from Cats Protection when she was 10 weeks. Millie has always been a shy cat, and although she has improved she is still timid. Just after she turned 6 months old she developed stress cystitis and has on and off suffered with this greatly.
Bella is 5 years old. I got Bella when she was 8 weeks, I chose her because she seemed to have a similar personality to Millie, how wrong was I! Bella is the total opposite to Millie, she is totally crazy and not afraid to show you who is boss! Despite being a typical Tortie (a reincarnated princess! – Google ‘Tortitude’ – very interesting read on the characteristics of a Tortoiseshell!) she is very affectionate and is a sweetie. Her favourite pastime is to hunt twigs and leaves, which she then hides under my bed!
In January 2013 Bella started being a bit feistier towards Millie. This started as just play fighting getting out of hand, which developed over the next few months to full blown fights. After a particularly bad fight which resulted in Millie refusing to come down from on top of the kitchen cupboards, long discussions were had with our vet Jane, who has a GP Certificate in Feline Practice. We decided the best course of action to start with would be to cage Bella for a week and allow Millie to come down from the cupboard, and introduce them slowly. This did help greatly. Jane & I spent a lot of time over the next year discussing different behavioural strategies. This included doing a complete floor plan of my home and surrounding areas, discussing relationships with other neighbouring cats etc and making subtle changes within my home. I also used Feliway, Rescue Remedy and Royal Canin Calm food all of which helped to an extent.
However things were not improved enough for me to continue keeping them together for my own benefit, as neither Millie nor Bella were happy. It is a very difficult feeling to come to terms with, knowing your pet is unhappy or stressed. Bella had also started to become aggressive towards me, so I took her to St Boniface for an examination. She was suffering from discomfort in her neck, which was treated by Jane using a combination of pulsed electromagnetic therapy, phototherapy and physio. During one of her treatments we discussed the success of the progress we had made already, but agreed the next step would be contacting a behaviourist. Jane had suggested speaking to Vicky Halls, not only is she an incredibly experienced cat behaviourist and highly regarded in the veterinary industry, but she is a best-selling author, appeared on TV and holds lectures for veterinary professionals!
In April 2014 Vicky came to meet Millie, Bella & I. She travelled all the way from Kent and spent 3 hours with us. I learnt so much instantly from Vicky. She observed the behaviours of both cats, my behaviour towards them, my furniture, the cats’ toys, litter trays, cat tree – you name it! Like many owners, my cats are my luxury in life. They have everything I think they need, want and more. I have even been known to ask for things for Millie & Bella for MY birthday!! Although my cats are totally spoilt, Vicky questioned some of the items they have. For example the litter trays and litter. I had 2 hooded litter trays and used wood pellet litter. But what was the reason for my choice of these? The trays hid their contents and minimized the smell! The litter was what they were used to and they didn’t seem to mind it. Vicky suggested that cats like to be able to scan the surrounding area while eating, drinking and toileting, and cats are attracted to building sites because of sand! So perhaps the type of trays and litter suited me and my preferences but not Millie & Bella’s. I agreed to slowly make changes; due to Millie’s stress cystitis we couldn’t risk tipping her over the edge.
Over a couple of months I removed the covers of the litter trays and gradually changed them to a sand like clumping litter. I genuinely thought they didn’t mind the old litter, but they loved this stuff!! Millie loves to play around with the litter and dig as deep as she can! And after the 3rd month she was finally clear of her cystitis.
One of the harder things to deal with during this process is the fact that my behaviour and reactions were having a negative impact on the situation. I would naturally respond to the fighting by shouting, making a loud noise and ending up getting upset and angry. I had to learn to accept that I had to take a step back and almost let the fight take its course (to an extent!) and actually this really did help, and I think Bella realised she wasn’t going to get any of my attention.
Last year I decided to move back in with my parents. This caused me a massive amount of worry as not only would it be a change for Millie & Bella, but we would have to introduce them to my parents cat Rosie! Using my knowledge from working in a veterinary practice and lots of research we have managed to create a happy (ish!) household, and I will cover more on this next time!
After a few stressful years Bella and Millie are getting on much better, although I would call it more of a toleration than a friendship…! The theory behind Bella’s behavior change was two things, firstly the likely hood that Millie & Bella had reached social maturity at the same time and the territorial instinct was that much greater, also combined with her neck pain caused her to be much more aggressive.
The moral of the story is that we should remember to ‘think like a cat’ it is too easy to think about the things that suit us and our requirements, but if you have stressy cats like mine then their needs have to come first. Remember to be open minded about the things they do and why.
