As a pet owner no one ever takes on a pet thinking they would have to rehome them, sometimes for various reasons this becomes the only option. This sadly for me became the case at the end of last year, and I now feel able to share this experience with you.
In my last article you may remember that my two cats Millie & Bella hadn’t got on for many years, but had appeared to be getting on better. This was after we had moved back into my family home to join my parents and their cat Rosie. Bella seemed to give Millie less of a hard time, but 12 months on from then she started to bully her again. Apparently this can be quite normal – the excitement of a new place and people can distract from usual behaviour, I understandably took this as things were improving!
Millie became very sick last summer and spent 5 days in Bristol Small Animal Hospital, where outcomes of intense investigations led to a diagnosis of severe stress. You may think this was the point I realised separating them was the only option – which it probably should have been but it wasn’t. I carried on in denial that things would get better and everything would be ok. It wasn’t until a few months later that I woke up one morning, for no reason in particular suddenly feeling incredibly disappointed in myself for being so selfish. I had in reality been keeping them together for my own benefit and the thought of saying goodbye to one of them was just unbearable.
When my decision was made, friends and family reassured me that I worked in the best place to find her a home – but Bella needed to be in an only pet household which proved difficult. After many many months of looking for the perfect home, I was introduced to Mr & Mrs Edworthy, clients of the practice who had sadly lost their elderly pets in the previous 12 months, and were looking for an adult cat to make their home feel right again! They came and met Bella and fell in love with her straight away, and I knew they were very genuine people who would give her an amazing home. I took her to their house a few days later and stayed with her for a few hours to help her settle in. The hardest part came when I had to say goodbye, worried about what she might think about why I was leaving her – would she think I didn’t love her anymore? That I hated her for bullying Millie? That I just didn’t want her? These thoughts still haunt me to this day and it truly breaks my heart.
The next few weeks ended up being just as hard than the initial goodbye. Millie two days in stopped eating, wouldn’t let me near her and was generally unhappy – not what I was expecting at all! Bella after a good first week in her new home became withdrawn and depressed. My mind was all over the place thinking I had made the wrong decision, but chatting to Vet Jane she reassured me that this can be all very normal, and can take up to 3 months for a cat to settle in to a new home. The first week can often be exciting, with the second week the realisation that your Mum isn’t coming back and this isn’t just a holiday, panic often sets in. Fast forward another week and both had turned a corner, and both now incredibly happy!
I have been very lucky in finding the perfect new home for Bella, they are a wonderful family and love her dearly. They are incredibly kind and send me updates, photos and videos every now and again. These are usually watched with floods of tears but it is lovely to see her so happy!
As for Millie, she is now an only cat as we moved back out of my parents home in January and she is like a different cat!! She is incredibly happy, she’s found her voice and we can’t keep her quiet now!! She has gone from sleeping in very hidden places to sleeping completely relaxed, as the photo demonstrates.
Seeing her come out of her shell and be herself has been amazing, I know I made the right decision for both Millie & Bella. Me on the other hand, I am still grieving and I miss Bella so much. I know this will get easier with time but now I have come to accept that this is ok and completely normal. On my down days I look at this picture of her happy in her new home and know she is very happy, and just tell myself I am sure she knows I still love her.
We now have a Vet Nurse, Ali, who graduated with a degree in Animal Behaviour and Welfare before training as a nurse; who would be available for you to chat to if you can connect with Donna's story.
